Some advice needed

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Some advice needed

Post  Pez on Tue Apr 13, 2010 9:53 am

Trying to figure out the exact family relation... it's my wife's Aunt's son... cousin-in-law?

Anyway, he's a perennial loser, steals money, buys drugs, his mom (who watches my son) is in complete an obvious denial. He's 50+ years old, lives with his mom, has two kids by different moms, and is unemployed.

In a long Line of suspicious stories, two recent ones have given me pause... Since he lives with his mom he's found ridiculous ways of fleecing her for cash...

BS lie #1...
Several weeks ago, He left in the morning for a "job interview," and failed to return until nearly 1:30 in the morning. His story, as related by his mom, who I chat with on my lunch hour 3-4 times a week was that he was pulled over somewhere in Markle for going 57 mph. He was taken to jail. He didnt get a speeding ticket, his car was not impounded, and his "fine" was "all the cash in his wallet." If we haven't established the fact that he is an idiot by now, this will... his other cousin in law is a cop, and has the ability to easily verify that kinda sh**... Shockingly, Lumpy was never in jail in Markle, any other city in the county, or the surrounding counties. So...

BS Lie #2
had a job interview, filled out on his application that he's not a felon. Company did a background check, found out that he's a felon and told him to get lost. Then they supposedly called him back having trouble filling a $14 an hour factory position (BS)... According to him they had second thoughts and wanted him to take a drug test (mom I need $38).... then they wanted him to take another drug test (mom I need $38), then they wanted him to take a third drug test (mom, I need $38)... All that stuff supposedly checked out and he was to start yesterday... supposedly he showed up to work and the other employees refused to work with him because they were told he was a felon. He didnt get home until about 3:00 AM this morning and related this story to his mom...

ok... so if you have actually read this far... If you were me, do you share your opinion that Lumpy is stealing money from his mom and is very likely on drugs? Or do you let it slide? This is my wife's mom's sister's son... I'm not exactly close family. Or do you think family is family and BS is BS and you call it like you see it? Or, do I relay my concerns to closer family (he has a sister etc, could relate it to my wife's mom) etc...

Pez
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Re: Some advice needed

Post  iberlingirl on Tue Apr 13, 2010 10:24 am

is this a "white elephant" in the middle of the room issue or are there other family members that not are aware that this "may be" going on (hell, who are we fooling, IS going one)
if it is the white elephant, than speak up to one of the mothers blood relatives, have them approach her... if no one seems to notice, drop HUGE bombshell hints to them and then have them approach her... at least then when he is BUSTED, you can honestly say that you tried to help and didn't just turn a blind eye to it.
IMO, not really your place to approach the mom yourself..
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Re: Some advice needed

Post  Pez on Tue Apr 13, 2010 11:14 am

iberlingirl wrote:is this a "white elephant" in the middle of the room issue or are there other family members that not are aware that this "may be" going on (hell, who are we fooling, IS going one)
if it is the white elephant, than speak up to one of the mothers blood relatives, have them approach her... if no one seems to notice, drop HUGE bombshell hints to them and then have them approach her... at least then when he is BUSTED, you can honestly say that you tried to help and didn't just turn a blind eye to it.
IMO, not really your place to approach the mom yourself..

Awesome... thats the approach I think works...

Pez
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Re: Some advice needed

Post  IrishGuy on Tue Apr 13, 2010 3:52 pm

No, don't touch this one with a 10 foot pole. Not your blood relative, let other closer relatives handle this one. Unless, of course, you see some type of potential harm with your children frequenting the household.

I guess my main reason is that all families have issues somewhere down the line. I think that family issues should be handled by other close family members. My wife's family has a felon in it somewhere down the line. She knows how I feel about it, but I don't let it known to others.

If you do happen to bring up this family member with his mom, it's best to do it around the campfire at the lake. That way if it causes a shit bomb, you can just deny it the next day and hope it blows over.
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Re: Some advice needed

Post  floridafun on Wed Apr 14, 2010 9:48 am

i am pretty sure the guys mom and other immediate family are well aware..and praying daily he will suddenly snap out of it all any minute. why should he when they are supporting his lies and habits?
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Re: Some advice needed

Post  Markwes on Wed Apr 14, 2010 8:15 pm

Irish is right. This is an in-law, not immediate family. Mom is being typical mom and is giving her son whatever he needs and looks through all the crap. You start bad mouthing him and you might alienate your wife's family.
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Re: Some advice needed

Post  Canuck on Tue Apr 27, 2010 4:28 pm

I would say it depends on your relationship with his mom, if she confides in you, you might be able to address the issue with her.
Who knows, maybe she is just plain embarrassed and figures if the issue is ignored no one will notice or maybe she is desperate to talk to someone and doesn't know how to start the conversation.

It's a shame they are encouraging his habits though.

Oh, to answer your question, he is stealing money from his mom.

Do you have other options for babysitting for your son? Doesn't sound like a healthy environment in my opinion.
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