Bengals in Playoffs!

Who Dey!!!! Houston, you have a problem next weekend! The Dalton Gang is coming to Reliant Stadium to give you an ass-kicking.

brpppppppt! or however you make a raspberry via text. We are on our third-string QB, but still will kick the Bungle's upstart ass.

yes, the Texans have genuinely sucked over the past few weeks, but here are the Chronicle's 12 reasons why we will beat the Bungles (they do sound a little lame to me, though):

GAME ON!!!!!!!!

1. Wade Phillips vs. Andy Dalton: I’ll take Phillips’ defense against a rookie QB in a big game any day. Dalton hasn’t been as good lately as he was early. Since the merger, only three rookies (Aaron Brooks, Mark Sanchez and Ben Roethlisberger) have thrown for more than 200 yards in a playoff game, and Brooks was the only one to do it in a win, as he led the Saints to a 31-28 win over St. Louis in 2000.

2. Andre Johnson: One of the best five football players on the planet in his first playoff game. Oh yeah, he will be hard to stop.

3. Reliant Stadium: I wouldn’t be surprised if it is one of the loudest stadiums the NFL has seen Saturday. This game has been a long time coming and the place will be rocking. The over/under on Bengals’ false start penalties is 2 1/2.

4. Brian Cushing: He got a solid half-game rest against the Titans, and he is understandably peeved that he didn’t make the Pro Bowl. He will show the league how good he is.

5. Arian Foster: He had a fumble against the Bengals in the win there and was bottled up with only 41 yards on 15 carries. He won’t let that happen again. Look for a big day from him.

6. Ben Tate: As the president of the Ben Tate Fan Club, I must tell you that should Foster not have a big day, Tate will. He averaged eight yards a carry against the Bengals the last time they played. He’ll pop one this week.

7. Connor Barwin: The game has special meaning to him, as he played college ball in Cincinnati. Bengals are weak blocking on the edge, so he could have a big day.

8. The Texans offensive line: Among the best in the business, they had a little lull, but looked more like themselves early against the Titans. They’ll come in ready to roll.

9. Johnathan Joseph: So, rookie wideout A.J. Green had a nice day (five catches for 59 yards) against J-Jo the last time? Oh, and people asked Joseph about losing that battle? To a rookie? Oh, he will be up for the challenge. Not to mention, Joseph played his first five seasons with the Bengals and would love to stick it to them.

10. Danieal Manning: Gotta like a veteran safety against a rookie quarterback who should be under duress from up-front pressure. There should be a couple of chances for picks over the middle.

11. Luck of the draw: At some point, the Texans will have a high-scoring game without Matt Schaub. This could be the week. Think about it, the most points they have scored since Schaub went down was the 22 they put up in the glorified preseason contest Sunday. Otherwise it was 20 points in Cincinnati. And that was with four turnovers. A 30-point day has to be around the corner, right? (It won’t come in Baltimore the next week.)

12. Because The King says they will: You really think a team from the Queen City will beat a team from The King’s city? Come on, people. I am not throwing out my preseason pick of the Texans in the AFC Championship Game just yet. I have had a feeling about this team all season and I think for the most part Kubiak has handled this squad superbly throughout. He could still be outcoached this week, no doubt. But I get the feeling his offensive plan will be on the money. Cincinnati has protected Dalton, but can’t afford to do that if they trail in a playoff game. Once the Texans open an early lead and force the Bengals to abandon the run, it will be party time at Reliant.

And kudos to Kubiak for going for the win against Tennessee...... sorry-ass play at the end, though.

Those are the weakest reasons I have ever seen on the planet! Those reasons and fitty cent still couldn't get you a cup of coffee at McDonalds! AJ Green is a BEAST and will take Joseph to task. Andy Dalton will have his best game ever as a Pro and throw for 400 yards and 3 TDs. Wade Phillips will be so upset he'll wish he was back in Buffalo. Houston...you definitely have a problem!

Texans are favorites against Bengals, but longshots to win Super BowlThe Texans are not playing like a Super Bowl team, let’s face it.

They’ve lost three straight and the 22 points they scored in Sunday’s loss were the most they have scored since Nov. 13.

Las Vegas, apparently, doesn’t think much of the Texans as a Super Bowl team either.

The web site, Bovada, has Houston as a 40-1 longshot to win the Super Bowl. Only the Broncos and Bengals, who come to Reliant on Saturday, have longer odds.

That’s fine with Texans defensive end Antonio Smith.

“It’s from scratch right now, but I like that,” he said. “And I am hoping that all the non-Houston Texans fans do that exact same thing, because I really do think that we function better when everybody is against us, when we are the underdog.

“They don’t have to believe or we can be the team least picked to go to the Super Bowl or win the first playoff game. That fuel has helped us in the past and I would love to have it.”

The Texans are 16-1 favorites to win the AFC title and earn a Super Bowl berth. The Patriots, at 11 to 10 odds, are the overwhelming favorite in the AFC.

The Texans are early three-point favorites over the Bengals in the wild-card game. Their last victory, by the way, came against these same Bengals.

“This is a whole new season,” Houston receiver Kevin Walter said. “We’ve got to keep our heads up – just forget about the last three weeks – because we have a lot to play for, a lot to look forward to.”

See the Super Bowl title odds for every playoff team below.

At least the Texans won there way into the playoffs. Instead of sneaking in the back door like the bungles.

Texans got beat by my Colts this year...just sayin'. Texans will always be the Colts little brother.

IrishGuy wrote:Texans got beat by my Colts this year...just sayin'. Texans will always be the Colts little brother.

Snort. Never mind we were on our third-string quarterback, although I suppose that's something the Colts can identify with.

Scooby01_98 wrote:At least the Texans won there way into the playoffs. Instead of sneaking in the back door like the bungles.

so the men in stripes lost their last game...big deal. They won enough games to qualify for the playoffs and didn't necessarily NEED to win the final game of the season (although it would've been nice). It was just oh so tough to know that it was Carson Palmer and the Raiders loss that ensured the Bengals would be playing this weekend!

Aggie Transplant wrote:

IrishGuy wrote:Texans got beat by my Colts this year...just sayin'. Texans will always be the Colts little brother.

Snort. Never mind we were on our third-string quarterback, although I suppose that's something the Colts can identify with.

At least you have a 3rd string QB. We have a couple of stiffs. One who looks like a cartoon character and one who I can't spell his name.

Guess we'll find out soon enough who's right, Cincy. Eat dirt.

Hard for me to complain about either team with the Broncos hosting a first round game. Geesh.

Aggie Transplant wrote:Guess we'll find out soon enough who's right, Cincy. Eat dirt.

Never! Good game so far!

Whoop!

Great game, although I realize my perspective is different than yours. I think Dalton is a better QB than Yates, and has a great future.

Great play by Watts -- that interception and return for a TD made all the difference.

On to Baltimore.

Congrats Aggie. The Texans were the better team Saturday. You're definitely right, the Watts play made all the difference. Now, go beat them Rat Birds!

Well, damn. I thought the Texans looked pretty good for the most part. That damned muffled punt in the first quarter...... But of course, Yates's multiple interceptions didn't help. I thought the Texans' defense was awesome.

Aggie Transplant wrote:Well, damn. I thought the Texans looked pretty good for the most part. That damned muffled punt in the first quarter...... But of course, Yates's multiple interceptions didn't help. I thought the Texans' defense was awesome.

Yeah, I have to wonder if Schaub would have been able to get it done, but just like my Bears and Cutler, it's shoulda coulda woulda.

I was disappointed to see the Saints go down, but it was a great game. I did not expect Alex Smith to come up big like he did, so kudos to him and the 49'ers. But seeing the Packers fall makes me interested again.

Cincy, were you in Kroger on St. Joe Center & Maplecrest Road on Saturday afternoon? I saw a guy wearing a Bengals hat an my first thought was it had to be you. There couldn't possibly be another Bengal fan.

Saints gone, Packers gone. Wow weird playoff on the NFC side, by the teams you thought would be there loosing. I'm going for the story line now. Ravens and 49'ers, brother vs brother. Jim/John harbaugh. Who knew a former Chicago Bear QB could be taking a team to the Superbowl as a head coach.

Scooby01_98 wrote:Saints gone, Packers gone. Wow weird playoff on the NFC side, by the teams you thought would be there loosing. I'm going for the story line now. Ravens and 49'ers, brother vs brother. Jim/John harbaugh. Who knew a former Chicago Bear QB could be taking a team to the Superbowl as a head coach.

I'm bummed... was hoping for Niners vs. Pats...

Pez wrote:

Scooby01_98 wrote:Saints gone, Packers gone. Wow weird playoff on the NFC side, by the teams you thought would be there loosing. I'm going for the story line now. Ravens and 49'ers, brother vs brother. Jim/John harbaugh. Who knew a former Chicago Bear QB could be taking a team to the Superbowl as a head coach.

I'm bummed... was hoping for Niners vs. Pats...

I think the Giants have a better chance at beating the Pats than the 9ers did. Mostly because of much better qb.

IrishGuy wrote:

Pez wrote:

Scooby01_98 wrote:Saints gone, Packers gone. Wow weird playoff on the NFC side, by the teams you thought would be there loosing. I'm going for the story line now. Ravens and 49'ers, brother vs brother. Jim/John harbaugh. Who knew a former Chicago Bear QB could be taking a team to the Superbowl as a head coach.

I'm bummed... was hoping for Niners vs. Pats...

I think the Giants have a better chance at beating the Pats than the 9ers did. Mostly because of much better qb.

Whats odd about that is that Alex smith didnt lose the game for the niners... special teams blew two kickoff returns...

IrishGuy wrote:Cincy, were you in Kroger on St. Joe Center & Maplecrest Road on Saturday afternoon? I saw a guy wearing a Bengals hat an my first thought was it had to be you. There couldn't possibly be another Bengal fan.

Nope, wasn't me. Looks like there's another dumb bunny out there too!

Cincy Fan 44 wrote:

Scooby01_98 wrote:At least the Texans won there way into the playoffs. Instead of sneaking in the back door like the bungles.

so the men in stripes lost their last game...big deal. They won enough games to qualify for the playoffs and didn't necessarily NEED to win the final game of the season (although it would've been nice). It was just oh so tough to know that it was Carson Palmer and the Raiders loss that ensured the Bengals would be playing this weekend!

Wansnt it you a year or so ago thinking that he wasn't going to be a Bengals fan anymore? Did I dream that?

Pez wrote:

Cincy Fan 44 wrote:

Scooby01_98 wrote:At least the Texans won there way into the playoffs. Instead of sneaking in the back door like the bungles.

so the men in stripes lost their last game...big deal. They won enough games to qualify for the playoffs and didn't necessarily NEED to win the final game of the season (although it would've been nice). It was just oh so tough to know that it was Carson Palmer and the Raiders loss that ensured the Bengals would be playing this weekend!

Wansnt it you a year or so ago thinking that he wasn't going to be a Bengals fan anymore? Did I dream that?

guilty as charged. at least I didn't jump ship and try to become a Colts fan. I wonder how many "fans" twisted an ankle jumping off their bandwagon this year?

Cincy Fan 44 wrote:
guilty as charged. at least I didn't jump ship and try to become a Colts fan. I wonder how many "fans" twisted an ankle jumping off their bandwagon this year?

Bwaaaahahahahaha.... I actually went looking for the old post too...

As far as colts fans jumping off the bandwagon, meh... who cares... I tend to look at the colts optimistically... hopefully finally expunging the phrase "we do what we do".

manning aside, the colts organization looks to be doing the right things... with Manning, no one seems to know shit....